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  • Writer's pictureEmma

Toxic Relationships, Events or Situations

The best action: Do not play the game! Toxic people, events or situations can cause energy leakages; you can choose not to respond so they do not sap your energy. It is their behaviour that is toxic, rather than 'the person' and often they have been deeply hurt and have not yet forgiven themselves / someone or some situation or event from their past. Taking responsibility, forgiving and looking at the real truth behind the feelings the other person / event / situation creates within you will help.

Bad energy is exhausting; there can be clashes in personality or undeveloped listening skills. It happens when your friend, work colleague, associate or partner does not listen, only reacting rather than interacting. They hear, say and think their own stuff without acknowledging or listening to what you say. Often they are lost souls unable to connect with their own self. They want you to commit to decisions that do not sit with you, that you do not want to do. "He said, she said..." responses rather than react, do not rise to them.

Smudging is a great way to bring a level of calm, as it cleanses you and your surroundings. Empathetic people are more prone to pick up energy from others and it can lead to feelings of discombobulation. Meditation and Reiki are great tools to relax the mind and help to ground and re-centre yourself.

We must also be aware that things we do not like about another person can be a reflection of ourselves. We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. When you find the actions or words of another trigger negative feelings within you, this can be because it is time to heal something within YOU! Every person shows up at the perfect time to show us something that we need to heal within ourselves. This can be a work colleague, close relationships, anyone that we come into contact with, to be honest; it could just be a sales assistant in the local store.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • What are they here to teach me?

  • Is there something in their behaviour / attitude / communication that reminds you of a past habit in yourself?

  • Are you trying to fix or rescue them?

  • Do they make you feel bad or ashamed of yourself?

  • Do you emotionally 'check out' in their company?

  • Do you lash out because you feel misunderstood?

  • Are you losing / not allowing your own values in the interaction

  • Do they 'listen' to you - i.e. actually hear what you say & ingest it or react with clear disregard or misunderstanding about what has been said?

  • Do you withdraw?

  • Are you making excuses for them & their behaviour?

Action to take is forgiving yourself, it is important you fully explore your role in the interaction. Toxic people act out parts of who they are, i.e. bully, victim, control freak, to meet their needs, albeit in a very unhealthy way. Traits also include needy (all about them), critical of themselves, jealous, self-abuse (be it food, alcohol, self deprecating etc).  

If you are unable to move past the destructive behaviour or the relationship is too toxic, then you will have to move forwards without them in your life. It can be two conflicted souls that have such very different outlooks and desires that they completely clash. Our upbringings and the paths we take in life teach us so much and help us to grow into the people we want to be.

Note to remember: Nothing is permanent, do not stress too much because no matter how bad the situation is... it will change. It is vital to live in the present moment, the here and now, the past is gone and the future is not yet here.

If you have any questions or comments please let me know.

Have an awesome day


0208 892 4627

The images are of the powerful sculpture by Alexandr Milov, from the Burning Man 2015 Festival, in Nevada, of two people in conflict and their inner children are trying to connect, ultimately, an inner expression of human nature.

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